


Not Good Enough

by Sivan325, SivanShemesh (Sivan325)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Break Up, Character Study, Feelings, Insecure Alec Lightwood, M/M, Post-Episode AU: s02e16 Day of Atonement, Post-Episode: s01e05 Moo Shu to Go, Post-Episode: s01e12 Malec, Post-Episode: s02e08 Love is a Devil, Post-Episode: s02e17 A Dark Reflection, Post-Episode: s02e18 Awake Arise Or Be Forever Fallen, Prompt Fic, Self-Esteem Issues, post-episode: s02 e18 awake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:35:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25226176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sivan325/pseuds/Sivan325, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sivan325/pseuds/SivanShemesh
Summary: Everything he touched ended up broken, just like that.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 10
Kudos: 81
Collections: Fluff vs. Angst Battle 2020, Hunter's Moon 500 Prompts, Hunter's Moon Fic Recs





	Not Good Enough

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nadja_Lee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Reason My Heart Beats (I Can't Live Without You)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22875733) by [brightasstars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightasstars/pseuds/brightasstars), [PhoenixStar73](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixStar73/pseuds/PhoenixStar73). 



> Written for HM Discord prompt 500 words or less: Nail
> 
> Disclaimer: The fabulous work belongs to Cassandra Clare, thank you for creating the Shadow world.
> 
> *-*
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy Nadja_Lee, I love your fanfiction. 💖
> 
> Inspired by The Reason My Heart Beats (I Can't Live Without You) - Can't wait to read more of this story, just saying.💖💔

He really tried to do everything right, why was it not working for him?

His brother, his parabatai, did not even feel the pain coursing through the parabatai rune, the pain of his broken heart.

Alec remembered the time that he was the one that was assigned by his mother to keep his eyes on Clary while his sister was doing his job, and then when he lost her, he remembered how Jace accused him of not taking care of Clary, like everything he did, it was not good enough, he knew he will always be in his brother’s shadow.

_Well, then maybe your mother was right, and your best just isn’t good enough._

Jace was not even there for him when he needed him the most, Alec was frustrated, he knew that everyone was busy preparing to fight Valentine, but why couldn’t anyone see the pain that he was feeling, his broken heart, Alec felt like he was going to lose it.

He kept what he knew about the soul sword from Magnus for too long and now he was paying the price for it.

Magnus was the only one that really made him smile, genuinely smile, not the fake smile that he did when his parents came by or when they applauded him for his job as the head of the institute.

_What have you done, Alec? To us? This family?_

Alec could not forget the moment that he killed Clary’s mom, even if he was possessed by a demon as he killed her.

Never in his life, will he forget what Clary told him as he stood on that roof, and he knew that she was right.

_Nobody’s gonna miss you. Weak. The guilt must be eating you alive._

_Murderer._

Alec knew that he should not listen to his father about the soul sword, now he was paying the price for his actions.

_But you cannot repeat this secret to anyone, not even Magnus._

Alec did not know how Magnus found out about the sword, but he certainly thought that he did not deserve what his boyfriend told him.

_I guess it runs in the family._

He shattered the one thing that he loved the most. Magnus Bane.

Alec felt miserable as Magnus broke up with him, all the trust that he had, now seemed to have fallen to pieces just like his heart. His pure heart that was whole was now broken by the warlock he put his trust in from the start.

It was not good enough, everyone was right, his efforts were not good enough.

Magnus breaking up with him felt like the last nail in the coffin, his boyfriend, his first love, first kiss, his first everything.

_And the only thing holding me back from doing that… is you._


End file.
